“True Friends are Never apart, maybe in Distance but never at Heart.”

Friendship in Your 20′. I am actually pretty excited for this conversation am about to spark. If there is anything I have had in plentiful supply in my life, then I would no doubt count Friends high on my list. I have been able to build close friends in every stage of my life and I hold each and one of those friendships close at heart very dearly. If you read my last post, A weekend Getaway, you would have caught the line where I said, I hadn’t seen those girls in 6 years together in the same room, but when we met it was like they never left. However not everyone is very lucky to find such friendships in life and I am no exception because there some friendships no matter how hard we try, they just slip through our fingers. Which brings me to my first point.

Friendship in Your 20’s sometimes means Drifting Apart.

It is easy for friends to drift apart, and the craziest part is that we don’t even realize it. We are able to maintain friendships with people we likely see every day, but with new steps of life, and Friendship in Your 20’s means that you have graduated through High school and University. Which means there are a couple of friends you haven’t been in touch with since graduation. Now that I have printed it out loud, a couple of names begin to come in mind yeah? This is due to the new changes in life, new schedules and some even tend to move away from your hometown to begin their lives as young adults. I know you may want to say, true friendship withstands the test of time, and yes I do agree with you but this doesn’t stop you from drifting and losing touch with some. Yes, including the once you met one day between a busy day and said, “we should hang out soon.”

Friendship in Your 20’s means you may not recognize half of your friends.

This can happen in both ways. Remember that girl who used to sleep during lectures and failed at almost everything? Well, she is now the Branch manager at an international marketing firm or a judge whatever your pick is. Or let’s talk about that girl who had her entire future planned out and written in the stars, she is now pregnant with her 3rd child and yup, different baby daddy again! This changes can also mean weight loss or gains for that matter. I mean look at you, am pretty sure you can’t recognize some of the parts of your life and that’s okay. Change is good, any change, however little as long as it is positive it is progress and I urge you not to give up. Which brings the 3rd point home.

Friendship in Your 20’s comes with Insecurities

Well, this is going to be a hard pill to swallow but whelp! Friendship in Your 20’s will make you question a lot and even make you insecure. Here is a scenario and feel free to crash my point at whatever point in time. You know a couple of your friends who you had this entire future mapped on the back of your hand. But then you find out life in the real world isn’t as easy as it seems. You had planned to graduate, get a job, move out of home, get a house, buy your first car and at this time be promoted to a manager position. But when the harsh reality of life kicks in and you see that it is going well for your friends, insecurity can quickly pave in. However, the good news is that everybody’s journey is different, for some it takes them a few months to have their shit together and for others, it takes longer.

Friendship in Your 20’s is all about Making Time, Not Having Time

Look, everyone’s busy, and it’s only going to get more hectic as you get older and take on more responsibilities. There may never be that golden period where everyone is suddenly unattached and able to hang out with you. The most valuable thing we have is time, so it’s also the most valuable thing you can give. To make some friendships work, you may have to look at your time, and see where you can dedicate more to maintaining friendships. Because let’s be honest, no one really needs an eight-hour Netflix binge. Whether it’s staying out later or waking up earlier to make breakfast, friendship is about finding time through the busyness, rather than waiting for a reprise from it.

Developing New Friendship in Your 20’s is going to be hard.

It’s like freshmen year of college when you decided to transfer and realized that everyone was already so content with their roommates. For a little while, you once again may feel like you don’t fit in, and are clearly the new kid on the block. Cue Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the U.S.A.” because you’re wearing sneakers in a room of stilettos and just hoping that the DJ plays your favorite song.

Friend groups get established multiple times throughout life, and if you’re not there for that initial moment, you’re instantly the outsider (or so it seems.) When you’re 20’s -omething this feels particularly hard because it’s not like kindergarten where you can bond over crayons. You have to scope out the people who have the same passions as you and hope that they need your company just the same. Some people are seriously set on “no new friends.” So to avoid all this headache, try to maintain your current friends.

New Friends in the Mix

Let’s start by example. I am that individual who doesn’t have one best friend. I have a bunch of them. It’s weirdly normal I hope. I tend to make friends quite easy and fast. So that gives me room to have best friends in every stage of life. I have my High school best friend, then there is my University best friend, not to mention my middle school best friend…. and so on. With everything happening in between, your friends will have new friends and for a second it may feel like junior high and you may get envious of their friendship bounds but that’s okay, it’s not that they are doing it on purpose it’s just how the law of social networking sometimes. Side note, it may get weird sometimes and it won’t all be in your head, people get competitive about friendships. The best thing you can do is not get caught up in anything of the sort.

Maintain Friendships that matter

Friendship in your 20’s would go through hills and Valleys. My suggestion have a set of friends that you hold dear. The ones that show up on your worst day and call to congratulate you on stuff that matter. Friends that support your hustle and pray for your success as much as you do. Because let’s be honest if you are still trying to maintain toxic friendship in your 20’s with folks that don’t add any positivity in your life, well darling you need a lot of Growing to do, because it doesn’t get any better because soon you will be in your 30’s and if your friendship has no foundation it will keep getting worse.

Recap

I Had this post in the back of my mind. Where I met with my girls who we did Varsity back in the year 2012-2014. During my Bachelor’s degree and some 2014-2016 for my Master’s degree. So to say the list, it has been 4 Years since I saw any of them. Well except my Best friend Dee. Who was the reason we got to hang out as we were celebrating her new age. But again, just like other friendships. This clique is one that stood the test of time. It was like we all never left University, (more grown but still the same). We had an epic time at Karambezi in Seacliff Dar es Salaam. To say the least, I got to know how I am after drinking a whole bottle of Champs, Ha! We spoke about the craziest of conversation, marriage, carriers, and Kids. Yup, its official am an Adult!

Am curious to know your take on Friendship in Your 20’s. Is it a Myth or do this cold truth actually apply? Let’s have a conversation below. Also, what are the craziest topics that you have found yourself talking about with regards to Friendship in Your 20’s.